Tufty Longbeard has been missing since Saturday, June 12. Longbeard is easily recognized by the tumbling curls of his beard, his bulbous, potato-like nose, squidgy eyes, pointed hat, and surly demeanor. He was last seen at his job working as a bouncer in the exclusive night-time hotspot The Mushroom Garden. He appears to have disappeared during the considerable hullabaloo of the Multicultural Festival. Prickles McSnuffy, Longbeard’s close, personal hedgehog friend is deeply concerned for his safety. Foul play has not been ruled out, since Longbeard often resorts to fisticuffs to keep out the irate would-be patrons of The Mushroom Garden, which is known for its lines around the block and hefty ticket price of no less than a gillion quadrillion dollars apiece. The notorious yarn shop tough guy and alleged vandal Dastardly Darren, is suspected but has not yet been brought in for questioning due to lack of eyewitnesses willing to come forward. If you have any information whatsoever regarding Tufty Longbeard’s whereabouts, please contact Mad About Ewe Fine Yarns without delay. If your tip leads to an arrest, Prickles McSnuffy has generously offered a ticket to The Mushroom Garden as a reward.